did i ever tell you guys about the time i was living in guatemala and we were studying these fire ants, trying to find a cancer cure, and we had to live in mosquito-proof tents because they have a pretty bad mosquito problem, and anyway there were these big snakes, only the mosquito-proof tents didn't really do a whole lot to stop the big snakes, so we ended up having to use the fire ants to ward off the snakes, except big snakes are a lot bigger than fire ants, so it wasn't a very effective defense, so it turned out that we had to send someone out every so often on a "vigil," except it wasn't so much a vigil as a sacrifice, and that appeased the snakes, at least for awhile, but then there were these monkeys in the trees that figured out that if they swung directly over our mosquito tent and threw poop at it, it produced a comic result, so most of our time was not spent researching the fire ants, but rather hiding from flying monkey poop, and so after awhile, when the university we were working for got word of our escapades, they cut our funding, so we just up and left, and to this day there is a place deep in the jungles of guatemala, within sight of a che guevara memorial, with an abandoned mosquito tent, snake skins, and monkey poop?

I KEEL YOU

song of the post: the white stripes - the air near my fingers